


This War Represents a Failure to Listen—But not to Each Other

by WingletBlackbird



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Genre: AU, F/M, PadMay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingletBlackbird/pseuds/WingletBlackbird
Summary: During Revenge of the Sith, Padme and Anakin have several opportunities to talk about Anakin's nightmares or Palpatine's regime. Yet, they never do. This short fic explores what might have happened had they only done so.





	This War Represents a Failure to Listen—But not to Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> The dialogue and timeline of this fic borrow heavily from Matthew Stover's Revenge of the Sith novelisation.

"Huh!" A gasp. A breath. Padmé stirs in her sleep as her husband bolts up beside her. His hands press down on the mattress causing it to dip. Groggily-she's gotten no sleep lately between stress in the Senate, all her worry about Anakin, and their little boy kicking her-she struggles to wake up.

It's probably just a nightmare. Her poor Ani; he seems to have so many. She waits for him to wrap his arms around her, as he so often does when he wakes in the night. She can comfort him then, hold him, as he holds her, but he doesn't come. He hesitates and leaves their bed. Padmé does too, as she jolts up herself to look over her shoulder, and sees him leave the room. This one must have been really bad…

She groans slightly as her pregnant belly gets in the way. Moving is so much harder than it used to be, but Ani is worth every bit of it. For that matter, so is the baby. She carefully follows him out and finds him standing at the window looking lost. Sweat coats his back making him look sick. His hair is disheveled, but it does not look attractive for once, but limp. Whatever he has seen, it has shaken him to his core. There is a slight shiver in his body unlikely to be from cold. She walks up quietly to him, places her hand over his prosthetic, and waits for him to speak. She doesn't want to push, but hopes it shows: She can love anything he tells her.

"It was a dream," he finally speaks.

She nods slowly. She had been expecting that. "Bad?"

"It was—like the ones I used to have." He refused to even look at her. "About my mother."

Oh. No wonder he looks so shaken. She nods again. "And?"

"And—" Now he stares down at her, but with the fear in his eyes, he almost seems to be looking up pleading, desperate, as he clasps their hands. "It was about you."

All right," she speaks softly. "It was about me." What does this mean? She knows what happened to his mother, so she waits calmly. She needs to be calm when he's this small.

When her husband speaks again his voice sounds raw. "It was … about you dying," he says earnestly, as if she didn't understand it. "I couldn't stand it. I can't stand it."

He looks away from her and closes his eyes. Padmé feels distant, almost as if she's having an out of body experience. It just seems so incongruous, despite the threats on her life for her stance on the war, despite the dangers of war in general. She wasn't really going to die. Was she? It's not like Jedi visions always come true in anycase. Ahsoka had proven that.

"You're going to die in childbirth."

"Oh."  _Oh._ Well, that was...different. She hadn't been expecting to hear that. A blaster bolt, maybe, but a baby? It didn't seem likely but...

"And the baby?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know."

Alright, she sits down on the veranda chair and clasps her hands over her stomach. It's really unlikely she'll die in childbirth, but this child is going to change things… Maybe the visions are about that? Some threat to come with the open knowledge of her Jedi husband? He comes down and kneels before her like a knight swearing an oath.

"It won't happen, Padmé. I won't let it. I could have saved my mother—a day earlier, an hour—I …" He clenches his jaw and speaks through his teeth. "This dream will not become real."

Padmé nods again. "I didn't think it would." He seems surprised by that. _Oh, Ani._

"You didn't?"

"This is Coruscant, Ani, not Tatooine." Perhaps, it really was just a nightmare. He doesn't like to discuss his childhood, but Anakin's probably seen women die in childbirth before. "Women don't die in childbirth on Coruscant—not even the twilighters in the downlevels, and I have a top-flight medical droid, who assures me I am in perfect health. Your dream, if it really was a vision, must have been … some kind of metaphor, or something."

"I—my dreams are literal, Padmé. I wouldn't know a metaphor if it bit me."

"That isn't strictly true though, Ani. You told me once in one of your dreams you saw your mother turn into glass and shatter. I'm sure that wasn't literal."

"Yes, Padmé." He says sounding exasperated. "But that's obviously a metaphor. People turning into glass, or one person becoming another person, or weird phrases that don't make sense. I've had visions like that before, but this was literal. Nothing metaphorical about it." He pauses and shakes his head. "Maybe you weren't even on Coruscant. I couldn't see where you were, and I should tell you," he looks her dead in the eye, "I've never had a vision not come true."

She hadn't thought of that, but she supposes it is possible. "I hadn't thought of that. I had been thinking—about going somewhere—somewhere else. Having the baby in secret, to protect you, so you can stay in the Order. Although Naboo is hardly-"

"I don't want to stay in the Order!" He takes her face between his palms, with hands shaking from the force of the passion he contains, making sure she looks into his eyes. She can see wild sincerity there. "Don't protect me. I don't need it. We have to start thinking, right now, about how we can protect you, because all I want is for us to be together."

"And we will be." She knows he means every word, but she doesn't want to sacrifice his career. His, at the moment, seems more important than hers. There are many senators-and she seems to get nowhere in the Senate lately anyhow-but the Hero With No Fear was one of the few things that held the people's faith, which was important and so fragile of late, or who might be able to end this war. There are other areas she can direct her attention to. "But there must be more to your dream than death in childbirth. That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, but I can't begin to guess what it might be. It's too—I can't even think about it, Padmé. I'll go crazy. What are we going to do?"

She takes his left hand from her cheek and kisses the palm. "We're going to do what you told me, when I asked you the same question this afternoon. We're going to be happy together."

"But we—we can't just … wait. I can't. I have to do something."

"Of course you do." She smiles at him fondly and runs a hand through his bangs: Her Ani never content to turn a blind eye to suffering. "That's who you are. That's what being a hero is." She sighs. "What about Obi-Wan?"

"What about him?"

"You told me once that he is as wise as Yoda and as powerful as Mace Windu. I know how close you are. Look, I'm not a Force-sensitive. I can't help you meditate...so, maybe he could help us?"

"No!" His chest starts to heave with blind panic. "I can't—I'd have to tell him …"

"He's your best friend, Ani. He raised you. He must suspect already. You know he does."

"It's one thing to have him suspect." Anakin says with ire. "It's something else to shove it in his face. He's still on the Council. He'd have to report me if he knew for sure."

"Maybe, he wouldn't. It'll be coming out eventually, perhaps he'll wait. Think of the publicity it might cause. Who knows how the public will take our relationship or your censure when it comes? Can the Jedi afford that now? With all the low opinions of the Order lately? The last thing they need is a scandal with the Hero With no Fear."

"He'd still go to the Council. Let them decide. I  _know_ he would." He stands up and starts pacing. His arms flail wildly as he talks. He turns every once in a while to point a finger at her for emphasis as he does so. "You saw what he did to Ahsoka. He was on the Council. Did he do anything to help her? No! He took their side, and made stupid excuses for his behaviour. Expelled her because she  _looked_ guilty. Remember Hardeen? When he never even told me, after the whole scene was over, that he wasn't dead. Why? The kriffing Council. That's why! He'd  _never_ go against them. I know where his ultimate loyalties lie, Padmé. We're friends, but he'd be the perfect Jedi. I can't forget that."

"I see."

"Besides…" He stops and shakes his head. "Never mind."

"Besides, what?" She's upset now. What has he been keeping from her? "Is there something you haven't told me?"

"I'm not sure he's on my side."

"Your side?" There were sides to this? To what? "Anakin, what are you saying?"

"He's on the Jedi Council, Padmé. I know my name has come up for Mastery—I'm more powerful than any Jedi Master alive. I just killed Dooku. Killing a Sith was enough to get him knighted, but not me into mastery. Someone is blocking me. Obi-Wan could tell me who, and why … but he doesn't. I'm not sure he even stands up for me with them. He's getting awfully close to Master Yoda and Master Windu, lately, and I know what they think of me."

She shakes her head. She can understand why Anakin wouldn't want to place his friend into a position of choosing loyalty to him or loyalty to the Council, but she could never believe Obi-Wan wants to hold his protege back. "I can't believe that."

"It has nothing to do with believing." He sounds bitter. "It's the truth."

"There must be some reason, then. Anakin, he's your best friend. He loves you."

"Maybe he does, but I don't think he trusts me." His eyes went empty in a way that scared her. "And I'm not even sure we can trust him."

"Anakin!" She stood up and grabbed his arm. "What would make you say that? He'd die for you."

"On the battlefield." He nods grimly. "But, here, on Coruscant? None of them trust me, Padmé. None of them. They never have. Not from the beginning when I was just a boy. You know what I feel, when they look at me?" He looked away as if he could see the past on the horizon.

"Anakin—"

He turns back to her with frustration and hurt in his gaze. "Fear," he said. "I feel their fear, and for nothing." He shakes his head. He looks like he wants to say more, but he holds back. "Never mind," he murmurs. "Forget it. Padmé, I'm so sorry. Just, forget I said anything. None of that matters now. I'll be gone from the Order soon—because I will not let you go away to have our baby in some alien place. I will not let you face my dream alone. I will be there for you, Padmé. Always. No matter what."

She nods in agreement feeling exhausted, but knows she'll never forget the subject he almost broached here. She's long suspected something about the way the Council treats Anakin-she hesitates to call it cruelty, but at least indifference-has hurt him, but perhaps now wasn't the time to delve into that. He's so scared about the vision: One problem at a time.

"I know, Ani. I know. I trust you. I don't doubt you'll do right."

He closes his eyes looking pained, as if she'd burned him somehow. She wonders what he's done, what he's thinking of. Maybe the Tuskens? So many things undealt with…

"Isn't there anyone you can talk to? If...if you really are going to leave the Order, and eventually, I suppose you'll have to. Couldn't you talk to someone who knows more about visions?"

He sighs from the depth of his chest. "I'll talk to Master Yoda. I really don't think Obi-Wan'll be any help. He was useless when it came to my mother, but Yoda was able to help Ahsoka when she was having visions of your death. Maybe he could help me too. I won't give him specifics though. He'll probably just lecture me on attachment, and I don't want to be expelled before I can do more research on visions. I think, for now, it might actually be best to keep this a secret for as long as possible."

"Alright. That's what we'll do, Ani. It's a good plan." She smiles weakly. This is a start. Anakin just needs to feel like he is doing something. "I'll make sure my MDs are up to date on the ship, in case I do have to leave in a hurry. I promise I'll have the best medical care. I promise." She takes his chin so he's looking straight at her. "I promise."

 

Padmé stares out into the setting sun wondering if it's melodramatic to feel as if it is setting on the Republic. With her recent, and evidently now quite subversive, meeting with Mon, Bail, and Giddean, she feels off-balance. It says a great deal about the state of the Republic that such a meeting would be considered unacceptable. Where was the freedom of speech? Of opinion? She has an uncomfortable feeling about what Anakin's visions could mean now…

And what  _is_ happening with Palpatine? She's known him since she was three. He'd helped her father and Uncle Ono with the Refugee Relief Movement. He'd been a mentor to her and a friend. Still, his actions were suspect of late. Perhaps he was just getting paranoid? He certainly wasn't getting any younger, and to be over a decade in office, especially during such unstable times, would be a huge strain on anyone. Surely, he deserved the benefit of the doubt? If she could just reason with him… or would he take her actions as a personal betrayal? Perhaps it…

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Padmé jumps. She'd been so lost in thought she hadn't heard him come in. Beautiful? Oh, right, the sunset…

"Anakin!"

He steps out of the shadows with a smirk on his face. She remembers how, when the war first started, he'd liked to surprise her when he came home. How he's acting now reminds her of then. He'd stopped after awhile. The war drags him down, but he tries not to show it. She wishes she could believe he was just happy to see her, but she fears this is just his way of trying to make her feel better, or himself.

"We should get inside, before somebody sees you."

He laughs. "I'm sure they've seen me here before. Besides, we're friends aren't we?" He winks. She rolls her eyes. The baby starts kicking. It's like he knows his father's here. She smiles: Her sweet boys. She's thrilled to think they're two of them now. "I just had to see you. Tonight's forever to wait. It shouldn't be expected of me. How are you feeling?"

She grins up at him and ignores the implications behind his words: He wants to spend as much time with her as possible before it all goes wrong. She's wanted him here for this pregnancy and now he is. "He keeps kicking." She grabs his hand and places it on her belly. He smiles freely. He so rarely does these days.

"He? I thought you told the MD not to spoil the surprise?"

"Oh," she smirks slyly, "It's my  _motherly_ intuition."

He laughs. "Motherly intuition, huh? Well, with a kick that hard? Definitely a girl."

"You're just being contrary."

"No, I'm not!" He insists earnestly. Then adds with a smirk of his own. "Besides, I'm a Jedi and a father. Combined it trumps motherly intuition."

"Not if you're the one carrying the child, it doesn't!"

He laughs again, and places both hands on her belly. His expression changes as he focuses, reaching out with-

"Stop!"

"Stop what?"

"I know what you're doing. You are not allowed to use the Force to cheat."

"That's not fair!"

"That's exactly fair."

He pouts as if he were the baby, and now she's the one to laugh.

"Tell you what, if it's a boy, I get to name him, and if it's a girl, you get to name her. Provided the names aren't horrid, or course." His eyes sparkle.

"Deal." He hugs her tight and she relishes it. She needs this right now.

"How did your meeting with Yoda go?"

He huffs. "It wasn't worth speaking about, but I don't have time right now. I've got to go see Palpatine. I just wanted to see you first."

Yes. Palpatine. She wants to talk to him about that, but how to broach the topic?

"I heard about your appointment to the Council. Anakin, I'm so proud of you." He scowls and she is surprised. Hadn't he been hoping to become a Master?

"There's nothing to be proud of," he says. "This is just political maneuvering between the Council and the Chancellor. I got caught in the middle, that's all."

"But to be on the Council, at your age—"

"They put me on the Council because they had to, because he requested them to, once the Senate gave him control of the Jedi. That's not how I wanted it." His voice lowers toward a growl. "They only accepted anyway because they think they can use me against him."

"Against him…" So the Jedi Council had their suspicions of Palpatine too. "The Jedi don't trust him?"

"That doesn't mean much. They don't trust me, either." His lips thinned as he pressed them together looking as if he'd tasted something sour. "They'll give me a chair in the Council Chamber, but that's as far as it will go. They won't accept me as a Master."

Padmé found herself feeling suddenly very tired. Anakin didn't need to be carrying this load too, and his loads were her loads. "Patience, my love. In time, they will recognize your ability."

"They already recognize my abilities. They fear my abilities," he says resentfully. "But this isn't even about  _that_. Like I said: it's a political game."

"Anakin—"

"I don't know what's happening to the Order, but whatever it is, I don't like it." He shakes his head. "This war is destroying everything the Republic is supposed to stand for. I mean, what are we fighting for, anyway? What about all  _this_ is worth saving?"

Padmé nods sadly and pulls out of his arms. Perhaps this would be easier than she had thought. "Sometimes I wonder if we're on the wrong side."

"The wrong side?" He frowns at her. He looks almost hurt. "You can't mean that."

She looks back out at the sunset. "What if the democracy we're fighting for no longer exists? What if the Republic itself has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy?"

"Oh, this again." Anakin irritably waves off her words. "I've been hearing that garbage ever since Geonosis. I never thought I'd hear it from you."

"A few seconds ago you were saying almost the same thing!"

"Where would the Republic be without Palpatine?"

"I don't know." She hadn't mentioned Palpatine, but it seems he knew what she was getting at. "But I'm not sure it would be worse than where we are."

"Everybody complains about Palpatine having too much power, but nobody offers a better alternative. Who should be running the war? The Senate? You're in the Senate, you know those people—how many of them do you trust?"

"All I know is that things are going wrong here. Our government is headed in exactly the wrong direction. You know it, too—you just said so!"

"I didn't mean that. I just—I'm tired of this, that's all. This political garbage. Of being trapped between two groups: All this in-fighting. Sometimes I'd rather just be back out on the front lines. At least out there, I know who the bad guys are. Here everyone just expects you to stab each other in the back."

"Yes, well, I'm becoming afraid," she replies in a bitter undertone, "that I might know who the bad guys are here, too."

"You're starting to sound like a Separatist."

"I don't mean to seperate. That's no solution, but you cannot deny there are problems in the Republic, Anakin! You've complained about them often enough, and that was long before the war started. It's only made things worse! Anakin, the whole galaxy knows now that Count Dooku is dead. This is the time we should be pursuing a diplomatic resolution to the war—but instead the fighting is  _intensifying_! Palpatine's your friend, he might listen to you. When you see him tonight, ask him, in the name of simple decency, to offer a cease-fire—"

"Is that an order?" He asks and she sees his face has turned to stone.

She blinks. She'd been so consumed by her argument she doesn't know what triggered his mood swing. "What?"

"Do I get any say in this?" He stalks over into her personal space. "Does my opinion matter?" Oh. This was about his sensitivity to anything that reminded him of slavery. She feels rather guilty now. "What if I don't agree with you? What if I think Palpatine's way is the right way?"

What?! "Anakin, hundreds of thousands of beings are dying every day!"

"It's a war, Padmé. We didn't ask for it, remember? You were there—maybe we should have 'pursued a diplomatic resolution' in that beast arena! It's not Palpatine's fault there's a war."

"I was—I was only asking if …"

"Everyone is only asking. Everyone wants something from me, and I'm the bad guy if they don't get it! Well, I'm not just another tool in your political arsenal!" He spins away from her, cloak whirling as he clenches his fist. "I'm sick of this," he mutters. "I'm sick of all of it."

"Ani, I'm sorry." She says softly. "I know you have your own opinion on things, and I don't want to force you to do anything. More to the point, I know I can't. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was using you. You're a person, not a tool. I know that; I don't think that. I'm just really worried."

His shoulders droop and he relaxes a bit at her words, but beneath there is still a tenseness she doesn't understand. Was it something Yoda had said? She sighs inwardly. She'll need to talk to him about that too, but right now, with the meeting coming up, Palpatine must be the priority. She sidles up to him and places her left hand on his right shoulder gently turning him to face her.

"Ani, I didn't mean that Palpatine is responsible for this war. I don't believe he is. By all accounts it looks like he did all he could to stop it."

"He did." He insists.

"I know and I didn't mean to upset you. I was getting at something else entirely."

He looks into her eyes properly now and all she sees is the blue in his that looks the color of his grief: Deep and impenetrable. "It's just..to hear you talking like that. Like the war wouldn't have happened, or couldn't have happened or...It's just, do you know how many men I've lost?" His voice cracks, and tears fill Padmé's eyes. He has such a big heart. This is so unfair to him. He's suffered so much ever since he was a boy. It seems sometimes like he was born into suffering and has never managed to escape it.

"I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."

"You're not telling me something though and I don't like it."

"What?"

"When I mentioned the Council and Palpatine. I could feel something flare in the Force." He stares her down. "You're hiding something from me."

What is she supposed to do? She'd given her word, and...it's not like she wanted to keep it from him, but  _even from family_ had been the promise she'd made. "It's not that I'm hiding things from you, Ani, but people talk to me, and they tell me not to tell  _anyone..._ I can't make an exception for you."

"But I'm your husband!"

"I know, Ani! And that's the point. They don't know that we're married-and if they did, maybe they wouldn't tell me, because they'd know I'd want to tell you. They talk to me without seeing the full picture, so how can I betray their trust? Even more, in a sense."

He sighs deeply. It seems they're always sighing lately: Secrets within intrigues.

"Look, I can't tell you what people tell me in confidence… But I will tell you what had me worried, okay?"

He nods carefully.

"This morning I heard about the Sector Governance Decree. You've heard of it?"

"Yes, I've heard of it. It means less bickering in the Senate while my men die."

"Yes." She drags out the word, "But, Ani, you just killed Dooku. Why are we acting as if the war is about to escalate...when the Separatists are more vulnerable than ever?"

"The Chancellor thinks that the Senate will vote to continue the war so long as Grievous is alive. This is a  _democracy_ , after all." He rolls his eyes, and it hurts Padmé, but she can see why he's frustrated too. It's hard to have faith in a democracy where all the votes are by cowards and bigots and slavers.

"Perhaps they will, but this new decree means they can't. It's all up to Palpatine, really. He can push for diplomacy. The Senate might be too scared with Grievous alive to sue for peace, especially those who are in line with the Banking Clan and Kamino who profit from all this pain, but Ani, it makes no sense. Grievous is a military leader, not a political one! It's like if Dooku killed Palpatine, and the Separatists chose to continue the war, because  _you_ were still alive. Now, you're one of our best generals, Ani, but you don't make the politics behind this war. Now, now is the time to pursue peace, and since, as you say, the Senate cannot get in the way, ask Palpatine if he can't try for peace, please. I don't want more people dying anymore than you do."

"I think Grievous hates the Jedi too much to stop fighting."

"Perhaps so, but having one rogue half-droid killer is better than being at war, I should think. Look, all I'm asking is that you ask the Chancellor to use his new power to try to pursue peace. If it doesn't work then at least we tried, but if we don't try nothing will happen for sure! I just want this war over as soon as possible, Ani. So I don't have to worry about you, and so I can work on fixing the Republic, and actually  _helping_ people." She looks plaintively up at him. "Please, Ani?"

His face softens and he smiles. Reaching up to caress her cheek he says, "I don't suppose I can argue with that." He looks down at his chrono and sighs. (Again with the sighs, always more sighs.) "I really do have to go, Angel. I'm probably already late as it is."

She steps back. "Well, good luck then."

 

Beep. Beep. Beep. Padmé rolls over and groans as she hears her comm buzz. Patting her hand on her night table, she grabs it sleepily, rubbing her eyes, and blinking.

"Anakin—? Where are you? What time is it?" She'd been exhausted when she'd gone for what she'd intended to be a short nap-dealing with Senate stupidity is hard enough even when you aren't pregnant-but it seemed like time had gotten away from her.

"Padmé, I can't—" He stops speaking and huffs. "Listen, Padmé, something's come up. I have to spend the night at the Temple."

"Oh. Did everything go alright?"

"Umm..I think so. As well as can be expected, I guess."

"That's good." She yawns. "Did you get the chance to ask him about diplomacy?"

"Hmm?" He seems distracted. "Oh, yeah. He said he means to ensure the war ends as soon as possible. The whole Grievous thing might not matter anyway. They think they know where he is. They're sending Obi-Wan after him, so either way it should be over soon."

"Well, that's good then. Perhaps all those Moffs won't be necessary after all..."

"Yeah. Listen, Padmé, there's something I have to do-"

"-So you aren't coming home tonight." She frowns, frustrated. There's still so much they need to talk about, but this must be important too. "Oh … well, all right, Anakin. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." He paused. "I miss you already."

"And we  _will_ be together tomorrow?" She confirms for her own peace of mind. They really, really need to talk: About baby names too, for that matter.

"Yes, and soon, for the rest of our lives. We'll never have to be apart again."

She nods sleepily. "Rest well, my love."

"I'll do my best. You, too."

She blows him a kiss tenderly; she never wants him to think he is unloved, and passes back into sleep.

 

Anakin's sitting on the sofa staring at the carpet as if it held the mysteries of the universe, but his face is clouded in a way that suggests he's lost in that very void.

"Anakin?" She calls out to him. "I was hoping you'd be over soon. Are you alright?" She hesitates to ask this. For one reason, it seems so inadequate.

"I suppose. What are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?"

_Ah, well, Ani, I've been meeting with other like-minded senators in a conversation that some would argue borders on treason…_

"I have a very important meeting in two hours," she replies instead. "I left a document reader here this morning—"

"This meeting—is it with the Chancellor?" His voice is quiet and harsh in a way that scares her. Anakin is rarely quiet with his feelings. When he tries is when she really worries. It means he's holding something in. He was quiet when his mother died-until he wasn't. "Is it his last meeting of the afternoon?"

"Y-yes, yes it is." How did he know that? Did Palpatine…? "Anakin, what's—"

"I have to be there, too." He crumples something in his fist and shoves it into his belt. "I'm starting to look forward to it." He's not looking at her.

"Anakin, what is it?" She walks over and places a hand on his arm trying to reach him. "What's wrong?"

He lunges to his feet. "Obi-Wan's been here, hasn't he?"

"Yes, he came by this morning." Does he think she told him? When they agreed they wouldn't? Or does he think Obi-Wan found something out? She feels like she's being accused of a crime and hardly appreciates it. "Why?"

"What did you talk about?"

"Anakin,  _why_ are you acting like this? Would you just tell me what's bothering you?"

He bounds over to her like a predator stalking his prey. His height and presence make her feel small. It's been a while since she's been made to feel that way: Afraid. She hates it even more when it's her husband.

"What did you talk about?"

"We talked about you."

"What about me?"

"He's worried about you, Anakin. He says you're under a lot of stress."

"And he's not?"

"Well," she starts to raise her voice, "with the way you've been acting since you got back—"

"I'm not the one doing the acting. I'm not the one doing the pretending! I'm not the one sneaking in here in the morning!"

"No," she says, and smiles. Not because she's really all that amused, or because she's happy, but to reassure him. She doesn't want this to degrade into an argument. She places a hand on his cheek. This time he does not avoid the touch. "That's usually when you're sneaking out."

His face cracks suddenly, and beneath the visage lies a scared man. He half collapses on the sofa, grasps her hand tightly, and seems close to tears. "I'm sorry, Padmé. I'm sorry. I know I've been … difficult to deal with. I just—I feel like I'm in free fall. Free fall in the dark. I don't know which way is up. I don't know where I'll be when I land, or crash." He screws his eyes up and she can see he's trying to hold back tears. "I think it's going to be a crash."

What's happened to him? She hears Obi-Wan's words echo in her ears:  _Do whatever you can to help him._ Where should she even start? She knows he and Obi-Wan had words. She knows he's caught between the Chancellor and the Council, but Obi-Wan had seemed more concerned with his relationship with  _her_. May as well start there. One conversation will likely lead into another. It all seems to be wrapped up together. She sits down and wraps her arms around him.

"What did...what did Yoda tell you, yesterday?"

He groans, leans his blonde head on the back of the sofa, and laughs hoarsely: Laughs like all the galaxy has made him the butt of a joke. "He told me." He says mockingly. "I should let you die, and not even try to save you. He says that I shouldn't even mourn you or even miss you, the kriffing barve."

Padmé gasps. She's taken issue with some of the Jedi teachings before, but she hadn't imagined this. Did he misunderstand? How could anyone tell someone else not to even  _miss_ someone they'd loved who was gone?

"What did you tell him? What was the context?" She enquires just to be sure.

"I said I was having visions of pain, suffering, and death. He asked me if it was about me, or for someone I knew. I said someone, and what should I do? and that's what he told me: Just another kriffing lecture on attachment. Like that's any help." He sits up again, curling in on himself, his shoulders hunched and quivering, as he runs his hands over his face. "Hell, I should have said it wasn't someone close to me. Maybe then we'd have actually gotten somewhere." He looks over at her with a stormy look in his gaze and says sarcastically. "It's okay to save people you know, just so long as you don't care about them." He laughs bitterly again and returns to staring at the carpet.

"I see." It's all she can say as she looks at the carpet herself. She's fairly reeling from shock: Of all the advice to give someone. She could accept Anakin not being able to  _do_ anything, but to tell him not to  _mourn_. That's just unhealthy, but Anakin's still talking frantically. She's not sure if he's trying to reassure himself or her.

"But don't worry, Padmé. I won't let these dreams become real. I promise you!"

"I know, Ani. If it is at all possible, you'll stop this. Mind you, if it is childbirth there probably is nothing you can do. Everyone dies you know, eventually."

"I know that!" He stands up and paces again. "I've seen enough of  _that_ to know."

"You need to stop taking responsibility for what's not your fault, Ani. Your men's deaths aren't your fault. This war, and the lives lost, aren't your fault. Mourn them, I'll never tell you not to. I do too, but don't carry guilt you don't deserve."

"My mother's death was my fault. I should have done something. I could have done something! I should have gone earlier and stang the Council!"

"Yes, maybe you should have. I don't know, but childbirth isn't the same as being kidnapped by Tuskens! You can help with one, but not the other. And-"

"Then why am I getting visions about it if it's hopeless?"

"I don't know, Ani." She shoves down her annoyance at the interruption. "And anyhow, I still think the vision could be metaphorical."

He rounds on her mid-pace. "We've been through this Padmé. It can't be metaphorical. It would make no sense!

"Yes, it can. Women giving birth is often used as a metaphor in mythology. It symbolises the coming of a new age."

"Oh?" He says resentfully. "And you dying; what is that supposed to symbolise?"

She pauses to make sure he hears her right. "The death of the Republic."

"What?" He looks like she's slapped him.

"I think that the Republic could very well be about to die, Anakin, and I don't know what it's going to give birth to, but I think that's what your dream means."

"That's-that's…"

"Good sense?"

"Maybe," he looks despairingly up at the ceiling and shakes his head in disbelief, "but what if that's not what that means?"

"That's the only thing I see that it could mean. Whether I give birth here or somewhere else, I've got some of the best medical care available. This isn't Tatooine, Ani, and I'm not without means. I think this vision represents something else entirely." She can see him listening intently looking for any way out of his circle of pain. "You can't say it's not the more sensible explanation. You've said yourself that there's tension between the Council and Palpatine."

He shakes his head again like he's trying to shake out memories, and sits down beside her once more. "That's not even the half of it. It's all so screwed up. The Council doesn't trust me; Palpatine doesn't trust the Council; they don't trust Palpatine, and they're all plotting against each other, and putting me in the middle."

"Is that what you and Obi-Wan argued about?"

"How do you know about that? He told you about that?"

"Yes," she nods vigorously. "He wouldn't tell me what it was about, but he said you two had 'had words' about something, and that it was 'Jedi business,' but he was worried about you, because of all the pressure you're under. I got the impression he didn't think it was quite fair."

"It isn't." He growls. "Good of him to at least admit it even if he wouldn't to my face."

"What isn't fair?"

"The Council, off the record  _naturally_ ," he says with great disdain, "has asked me to spy on Palpatine, and report back to them. They want me to use my friendship to essentially commit treason." Yes, she can see why that might bother him. It would likely have bothered her too. It would bother most people with even an ounce of loyalty. (Anakin has more than an ounce). "I said that was wrong. It was a crime against friendship, against the law, and against the Republic, but Obi-Wan says that Palpatine's behaviour is suspicious, and he shouldn't be trusted. Our allegiance is to the Senate and  _not_ to its leader...as if they weren't the ones who gave him all that power in the first place!"

"And you agreed?"

"To spy on Palpatine, you mean?"

She nods again.

"Yeah," he looks at her intently as if willing her to understand why, under the stars, he'd agreed to it, "but only because they told me they think he's being influenced by a Sith Lord."

"What!" Padmé sits up straight, and the baby kicks her with the sudden movement. "A Sith? In the Senate! That's awful."

"Yeah, they've traced him to Palpatine's inner circle apparently."

"Well," she's surprised it's relief that floods through her, "that makes me feel a bit better then."

"Better? How does that make you feel better?!"

"Because I was really starting to worry that Palpatine wasn't who I thought he was, but if he's being influenced or mind-tricked…"

"Wasn't the man you thought he was?" Anakin's voice is harsh again. "So you were against him too then? You're like the Council; you're questioning his every decision. Padmé, I've just gotten back from talking to him, and I spoke to him yesterday too, and I  _swear_ , he's trying everything he can to end the war! He's not our enemy, but it seems like everyone's against him anyway."

"Yes, I know, I know." She says earnestly, pleadingly, hoping he will understand her. "But, Ani, you have to understand why I've been so worried. The Sector Governance Decree-"

"What about it?" He interrupts furiously.

"The Sector Governance Decree," she repeats between gritted teeth trying to rein in her own temper, "is a heightened military response, when we  _least_ need it, that is nothing more than a violation of sovereignty. It's out and out bullying, Anakin!"

Anakin closes his eyes and tiredly rubs his fingers across them. "Least need it? Padmé, jurisdiction fights between clone forces and local planetary forces can cause problems I have seen first hand during the war. They are there to protect you. We've had peace talks go wrong before. Remember? When Bonteri was killed? Or when her kid tried to assassinate Dooku? Until the war's over they should be there just in case."

"Fine, but what about when Grievous is captured? Do we pursue peace then? When, Ani? Because I have seen  _no_ inclination on Palpatine's part to try diplomacy." She sees that he is about to interrupt her so she adds firmly, "And now that Dooku is dead, unlike with the Bonteris, there'll be no Sith on the other side to get in the way of peace talks.  _We_ have the advantage now. Palpatine  _knows_ that. That's why I'm having a meeting with him today."

"Oh," he looks at her with an expression like a trap, "are you going with the other members of your cabal to  _overthrow_ him, Miss Diplomacy?"

Padmé could feel her face go white. How?  _How?_

"I knew it!" He exclaims standing up again unable to sit still with his frustration. "Palpatine knows, you know. He gave me this list of people." He pulls the flimsi from earlier out of his belt and tosses it at her. She stares down in horror to see the accuracy of the list. Chaos take her; he knows. "He knows that you're planning something against him: Something illegal. That's why he wants me at that meeting to use the Force to ascertain your intentions." He stops pacing and looks at her sternly. "I can't believe you would do something like this, Padmé. I thought he was your friend too." Suddenly Anakin also looks hurt, like he's thinking if she could do that to Palpatine, she could do that to him too. Perhaps she has, in a way; she didn't tell him about all this, after all.

"Well, you know now then." She says dully. Anger flares in his eyes.

"So was that why Obi-Wan was here? You and him conspiring against the Chancellor?"

"No it wasn't!" She stands up herself incensed by his torrent of accusations. "And if you're such a great Jedi you'll be able to sense that I'm telling you the truth! Obi-Wan and I care about you whether you disagree with us or not. That's why he came to talk to me, because he wanted you to have a friend while he was gone. Believe it or not, we both care about you!"

Anakin calms slightly, but this fight is clearly not over. She cannot afford to let it be over either. If what she thinks is coming is coming; she needs to know Anakin is on her side. She walks up and places her hand on his forearm for emphasis.

"Ani, I'm not actively a part of any group trying to take Palpatine down by violent force although I am aware of such sentiments. I just want to ensure we don't have a tyrant in power."

"You mean Palpatine."

"Yes, Anakin, the Moffs-"

"Are only there for the duration of the war!"

"Yes, Ani, in theory, but really they're there until Palpatine steps down, but  _he_ is the one who has the authority to decide when that happens due to all the 'emergency powers' he's been given."

"So, basically, you only believe in democracy when things go your way. Otherwise you try to force them out." He exclaims pointing his index finger at her aggressively.

"No, that's not what I'm saying!" She's shouting now. "I'm saying that Palpatine controls the banks; he controls the Senate; he controls the military; he controls the Council; he controls everything. That's not democracy! That is too much power concentrated in one man without  _anything_ to reign him in."

"But the Senate  _gave_ him that. He didn't take it. They  _chose_ to do that. That is what they voted for. That was democratic, Padmé. You're the one who's acting like you know better!" They're in each other's faces now, and it occurs to Padmé that this may be their first proper fight as a married couple. It's strangely absurd, and rather terrifying. "Do you honestly think you have the right to decide? You and the Council, you just don't like it when things don't go your own way. 'All those who gain power are afraid to lose it.' Well perhaps you could afford to remember that! You and the Council and your friends in the Senate." He spits the words out.

She steps back and breathes deeply, trying to take the higher ground. Yelling at her husband won't likely help anything. "Perhaps, everyone who gains power is afraid to lose it, Ani. Yes, I'm sure that applies to the Council, and to me, and to  _you-_ that's why you don't want to accept death Anakin, because it means you're  _helpless_ -and that sentiment of fearing losing power applies  _equally_ to Palpatine too! It applies to everyone!" Her effort to be calm fails her by the end of the sentence as she clenches her fists and stands on her tiptoes trying to seem taller. "And, I resent being told that that means my actions are wrong and arrogant. I was in Palpatine's position once if you recall? When my people asked me to stay on as Queen?—"

"We weren't at war then!"

"Yes, but it  _seemed_ we were about to be, and Gunray who invaded us  _still_ wasn't in prison, and was awfully close to the Separatists. Everything was unstable, but we, now,  _shouldn't_  be at war for much longer according to you and Palpatine! So, yes, it was a very tough choice to stand down, to  _lose_   _power_ , because I didn't know if I could trust the person who came after me to rule my people properly, but I stepped down  _anyway_! So don't you  _dare_  get smart with me! And do you know why I did it? Because I recognised that even if I were to remain a good ruler until death, I could  _never_  guarantee that my heirs, my children, my successors would be. Better to have term limits-that was my idea to implement on Naboo in case you've forgotten-than risk keeping a corrupt ruler in power. So I stepped down, in spite of my fear, thank you very much, because POPULAR RULE IS NOT DEMOCRACY!"

She drops down onto her heels, and breathes in deeply as she tries to steady herself. Anakin, who is standing in front of her, looks completely stupefied. This is also the first time she has ever truly lost her temper with him. She's not sorry. She's hurt. She's hurt that he would accuse her of such things. She's hurt because Palpatine, who was supposed to be her friend, is putting her in this position (although maybe it's not his fault if there's a Sith involved.) She's hurt the Republic even got into this state at all. She's just so tired.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. I didn't mean to accuse you like that. You're right."

"Look, Ani. Palpatine is...I've known him since I was three. He was the one who encouraged me to become Queen. He served as my Senator when I was Queen. He's remained a good friend and mentor to me when I came to Coruscant, but, Ani, the man I knew was a firm believer of democracy. So if, after seeing the petition I mean to deliver to him today—asking him to go back to the constitution, and pursue diplomacy, signed by over  _two thousand_ people, people whose interests he's  _supposed_ to represent—is denied, then I think he's either being influenced by that Sith, or he's lost himself in power. A ruler  _has_ to listen to his people. If he rejects us out of hand, as I am starting to suspect he will… Well...it won't be a good sign.

"Honestly, I think he's just become paranoid. He's not getting any younger. He's under so much stress. I think he's seeing shadows everywhere, and given that he is the one who controls everything, that means a galaxy that is always at war against unwarranted threats. No one can live like that, Ani. We can't live under a scared old man clinging to his power. I'm not against Palpatine, so much as I'm against tyranny."

She waits now, as she tries to ignore the baby pounding her stomach, for Anakin to respond. What he finally says though surprises her. It seems so completely off-topic.

"You think I'm power-hungry?" He asks her quietly. "Because I want to save your life?"

She exhales and sits down rubbing her aching back. Was there ever a more difficult time to be pregnant? "I think that you, like me, have pursued power to protect people who would otherwise be helpless. It's not a bad thing, Ani. I just…" Oh, how to explain? "You become so...relentless, because you're confronted with a situation you can't win, that no one could win. No one wants to lose a loved one, Ani. I know what it is to live with dread like that. I've spent these last few years worrying everyday my husband might be dead on the frontlines. You don't like it because you're helpless, and in the process you might lose something you treasure. You're afraid, because you can't control it. This is about control. That's all it is, and control is power. It's all about your own security, and I wish I didn't have to see you blaming yourself for things you aren't supposed to be able to control. I watch you head into these downward spirals of flagellation, and it's horrible, because I care. Yoda's right about just that one thing. If, and only if, there's nothing else you can do to save someone, you just have to accept it and direct your energy elsewhere. Me? I channel it into my work at the Senate hoping the war will be over soon, and you'll come home, but at the end of the day, I know I can't stop you from getting killed when it comes to it; I'm powerless. I just have to live with it. I just have to live with it." She repeated for emphasis.

Anakin looks uncertain as he sits down beside her and takes her hand. "But what if you didn't?"

"How do you mean?"

"What if there were a way to reverse the process of death?"

"Ani, don't be absurd. Besides, I'm not going to die in childbirth. We were talking about Palpatine being corrupted by power."

"Yes, but, even if you're not the one to die. It would still be good to know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Palpatine mentioned he'd researched the Sith when the Jedi told him about them. He heard a legend about a Sith who could use the Dark Side to save people from death."

"What?"

"I know!" Anakin seems more enthusiastic now that she's listening. "I thought it was crazy at first, but the Jedi can use the Force to heal faster, and they say I was actually conceived by the Force, so if it can create life, couldn't it stop death? So maybe it's possible."

"Maybe, but at what price?" She stares eyes-wide at Anakin. She can't believe what she's hearing. Has he really been so scared, so desperate as to listen to that? "The Dark Side, Anakin….I…" She trails off shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm not sure the Dark Side is so bad, Padmé." His face is animated. He seems almost excited to share this with her. If she weren't stunned speechless she'd have more to say. "I know what the Jedi say, but Padmé, how can it be all bad if it could save lives? I'm not just talking hypothetically. I used the Dark Side to kill Dooku. I've used it before to get more strength, get my men out of impossible situations. There are some gifts only the Dark Side can bring."

"Maybe, Ani, but at what cost? You're a good person. It's not worth losing that."

"If I'm good it's because I care!"

"I know, but remember when I asked you why it was Jedi weren't allowed to get angry?" He nods. "You said it was because the Force contains all the anger of all species past, present, and future, just like it does every other emotion generated. The Force can control you, you said, as much as you control it. If you start using the Dark Side like that...It could…You would start off well, but what would become of you? The Dark Side would start using you instead. It would consume you, and-"

"No, Padmé I-"

"Yes, Anakin!" She insists. "Just like with your mother, only this time you will have done it deliberately. How many threats will you eliminate to stop death? Where will it end? Save my life and kill ten hundred? Ten thousand? Where does it end, Ani?" He looks stubborn.

"I've used the Dark Side without hurting people before, Padmé. I'm sure I could do it again. I think I could save lives."

"I don't think it's worth the risk. You can't save one life at the expense of many. If you love me at all, you won't put me through that! You're crossing a line, Anakin, between loving me and trying to save me, and trying to save me because you won't live without me. If you do this, you're doing this for yourself!"

"I am not!" He starts to raise his voice. "It's not just your life I'm thinking of. I'm-

"But," she interrupts him, "when you've used the Dark Side before, except when your mother died, you were doing it because you were angry, right? Angry at the war, or angry at injustice, but if you've just got someone dying of natural causes, what Dark Side emotion are you using? Besides your own self-centeredness? People are born and people die, Ani. People  _have_ to die. It keeps things in balance. If-if…" She stalls and organizes her thoughts. "A galaxy where no one does is not likely to be a good place-on Naboo we say that Mapanos, the god of  _fertility_ , made death, because what do you do if everything reproduces and nothing dies?- and I'm not sure that... that arrogance and greed is something you can afford to be drawing upon too much with the Force."

"Fine!" He shouts sitting up straight and raising his hands. "Fine! I'll just let you die! I'll just let everyone die! Is that it?"

"No, I'm saying don't do it at such a price. Don't presume you're a God. Unless you want to slaughter another village? Do you?" She hates to say it, but what else is there to say? He wilts again.

"Of course I don't. I just don't want to lose you."

"Then don't go using the Dark Side like that. Promise me, you won't ever, ever do that. Let alone in my name. I don't know what the risks are of touching it once in a while like you did with Dooku, but don't ever give over to it so selfishly. Please. I'd rather die."

"I promise."

"Besides, Anakin, if you start coasting your emotions like that, you'll just be enslaved to them anyway, and you won't be in any kind of control. It'll only hurt you."

"I suppose. I guess...I just...Look, I know I'm not the Jedi I should be. I'm just tired of it is all."

"You're a fine Jedi, Anakin. Everyone has flaws."

"Tell that to the Council." He mutters. "I'd  _still_ like to learn it though. Maybe you're right about the self-centered thing, but what about a young girl who gets shot by friendly fire and dies on the front? I can't be angry at the injustice of it? Her untimely death? If I could use that to heal her, would it be wrong?"

"I don't know. It would only be wrong, I think, if it resulted in more death, or other evils. I'm just saying be  _very_ careful. Do some research. See if this legend is actually real, and don't try it without  _someone_ there to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"Yeah, and who can I ask? The Council?" He shakes his head bitterly. "They barely trust me as it is, and anything Sith is in a special vault for only Council Masters to see; they wouldn't make me a Master so I can't get in. Mater Yoda probes the Dark Side, of course, trying to get insights on the Sith, but if  _I_ suggested it. Ha!"

"Master Yoda probes the Dark Side?" She would have thought that was forbidden.

"Yeah, because the Sith use the Dark, and so the only way we might get an idea of what they're up to is if he probes it. That's why we say the Dark Side clouds a lot of things these days, especially since we only use the Light. You're right though, he doesn't' do it alone. Master Windu is always there to make sure he doesn't fall, I guess."

"Well then, couldn't you ask Obi-Wan?"

"He's not here."

"Well, you're supposed to be spying on the Chancellor, aren't you? You can just tell them about the legend. If it's information accessible to the Chancellor it ought to be accessible to you, if not, well, where did he learn it from? The Council will have to look into it."

"That's true. Although I doubt they'll include me in on it."

"Maybe, maybe not, but it can wait Anakin. Until Obi-Wan gets back, and I really do think he'll help. He intimated heavily he wants you happy. It's why he turns a blind eye to us. Besides, I'm not going to die in childbirth, Ani. We're agreed, aren't we, that it's metaphorical?"

He nods his head reluctantly.

"Aren't we?" She asks again to be sure.

"Yes, probably. I know it's not likely to be otherwise."

"Well it can wait then. Besides, it's a month and a half until the baby's due. You've got time enough to do your research if you're so curious before you'll have to tell the Council. More, even, if I can resign quietly."

"Yeah." He says softly and settles into the cushions. He looks as tired as she feels, maybe more.

"Do you feel better now, Anakin?" She asks. Now that he's less worried about her, maybe they can talk about the state of the Republic, and what they're going to do about it.

"A bit," he admits, "I just don't know what's going to happen with Palpatine and the Council."

"Neither do I." She snuggles into his side and he puts his arms around her. "I'm scared, Ani."

"So am I. Palpatine thinks the Council is using the rumours of the Sith to conspire against him. He's figured out they want me to keep an eye on him."

"I suppose looking into the legend will make sense of all that. See if the Sith proximity is genuine."

"Yes, but I don't trust the Council. They're always shutting me out. They are conspiring  _something_. Whatever it is, I don't know. They don't trust me. They never have, you know."

"Well, you are keeping secrets from them."

"They've  _never_ trusted me!" He sits up again, but at least he doesn't remove his arm from her. "It's nothing to do with us. Even when I was a boy, they refused to train me in the beginning, because they said I was dangerous, too old to be trained.  _Obi-Wan_ said that too. I did all I could to be the best Jedi, but they always put me down. Always nitpick every little thing. I've seen them praise other knights, but I  _never_ get the same recognition, and more often I do more. If I say anything about it, they say a 'Jedi craves not recognition'. It's not about that! It's about what's kriffing  _fair_. It's always one thing after another. Haven't I always done my best to protect the Republic? They use me like a pawn, and I hate it. They only trained me because they think I'm the Chosen One." He shakes his head and rubs his hands through his hair. "Sometimes, I think I'm just another tool for them to use. I think they're afraid because I call them out on their bantha druk. They've never done much about slavery in the Outer Rim, if a Core World wasn't affected, because the Senate won't give them the authority they say, but they never press for it, never campaign for it. They just don't care, and I don't know that I should be so loyal to a Senate like that. The Council's no better. Look what happened to my mother. Stuff like that's not new, you know. They cling to power and play the game, and cast everyone aside who gets in the way, like Ahsoka that time. I don't know why I even bother sometimes."

It's the longest she's heard him say on the subject. He's been thinking this for awhile, clearly, and it's been building up. She stays quiet for a bit to see if he has more to say, but it seems he's spent. "I know. I don't disagree. The Council could have done a lot better, and the Senate's definitely corrupt. I've known the Republic needed fixing since the Federation blockade. Still, I think the Council's right to be upset about Palpatine. That they're being controlled by him. It's like you said, the Council doesn't listen to people who disagree with them, and Palpatine's doing the same thing. They may both be well-meaning, Palpatine could even be under the influence of the Sith, but the problems are the same. Either way, it's not democratic. You know better than anyone what it is to be controlled and ignored, but told to do what you're told."

He chortles dryly. "Do you mean slavery or the Jedi?"

"Well, you can  _leave_ the Jedi, Ani. In fact, you're planning to. They're not going to blow you up. You see what I mean though, about the loss of democratic process. That can only lead to subjugation. I just don't want to see Palpatine continue to tell people they can't speak their minds. Like you said, how can anything be done if people aren't allowed to voice the problems? And if they aren't listened to? Did you know anyone who says anything that's against what Palpatine condones get into trouble over it? It's called being "unpatriotic". That's what worries me. If Palpatine had a list like that one you showed me in his hands...it means he's already considering arresting us or worse just because we've had a difference of opinion. You can't just get rid of people, because they disagree with you!"

"Maybe  _that's_ what the vision means. You'll die as the Republic does." She feels a shiver of fear go through her, or maybe she feels it go through him.

"I hope not." She looks up at him, and stares him in the eye just to see how he'll react. "You know that won't stop me though right? I won't stop fighting."

He looks exasperated, but also seems slightly amused. "I've long given up arguing with you over  _that_ , Padme. I do wish you'd be careful though."

She looks up at him and grins, "Well, I guess you'll have to just keep real close to me then, as my Jedi protector."

Anakin smiles then, and for the first time in days it's genuine, and shields nothing. It's like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. She kisses him before continuing.

"Anyhow, I know the Jedi aren't perfect, very, very far from it. I've thought so since I first met them, but, unlike the Sith, Ani, and Palpatine's being manipulated by one it seems, maybe, or in cahoots with one, they don't kill without reason and they don't  _actively_ enslave people. The Sith were behind the Trade Federation bloc of my home. So many died, so many, and were taken from their homes and imprisoned to the Federation's whims. You saw it. I'm afraid that that's what's going to happen to every Republic planet. The Sith were behind that, and that was just the start. It looks like the Republic is about to become a place where no one has much freedom to speak of. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing. Can we agree on that? I'm trying to keep us safe."

Anakin is silent for a long time, but finally he says. "Yes."

"Maybe you should talk to Palpatine about retiring. He's really earned the right…"

And so they discuss how to handle the next meeting with Palpatine, and baby names. Baby names are very important too.

 

She's still brooding on their abominable last meeting with Palpatine when Anakin comes running in and envelopes her in his arms. He's shaking.

"Anakin? What's wrong?" She asks. It seems she's been asking that a lot lately. He gulps and it all spills out. The Chancellor was the Sith Lord. The Jedi Masters have gone to arrest him. He came immediately to see her, because he fears she might be in danger. It was worse than she'd ever expected. She hides herself in his embrace as it all comes together. This is too much.

"It'll be alright, Padmé." He whispers. "It'll be taken care of now."

She wants to believe it, and he does too, even if it's not true. So, they both hold each other, because that is the only thing they can hold: Not the galaxy, not the Republic, just each other. It'll have to be enough.

"Just hold me, Ani," she whispers, "like you did by the lake on Naboo, so long ago, when there was nothing but our love." She nuzzles his chest. "That's all we need you, me, and love. Just you, and me, and love."

Together they cry.

**Author's Note:**

> The image of Anakin's mother turning to glass and shattering is from the Attack of the Clones novelisation by R.A. Salvatore.


End file.
